Thursday, February 20, 2014

Blog #11, "Not Bus Related", Rambling Thought Day, Thursday, Feb. 20, 2014

Hello Everyone,

No, I did not fall off the face of the earth, I have been real busy since my last post as I have traded my 1995 Saturn SL2  for a 1982 Toyota Corolla Station Wagon that to me is in Pristine condition but when purchased the Toyota did not run!!!  I know, I know, what in hell is wrong with this picture Gary??   Well I just wanted to have this car to simplify the answer and it should be running real good by Monday, I hope.  I am having the Carburetor rebuilt this weekend, and I am putting in a new fuel pump because of the age of my new toy car and that way for the rest of my life I should not have to worry about it any more.  The car was sitting for quite a long time and this is not good for buses or cars.  I posted a few photos of this deal on my FB but will re-post them here as well to show you what I started with and when I am done by the middle of next week you will see the end result and see what I have stored in vision in my head all this time.  Here is photos of this anyhow: 

My Saturn the day it was to be traded, even steven for my Toyota.


Only thing wrong with inside, the upholstery on driver seat was dirty, my work car but a goody, 30 MPG


Mileage when I traded her in, run good right up untill I pulled the key out of the steering wheel for the last time

The engine compartment, not all dirty etc.  clean enough to work on if you needed to, I hardly needed to


Now the 1982 Toyota Corolla Station Wagon the day I traded for her, Even / Steven


No dents, NO RUST< NO RUST< NO RUST any place

Front view, just wanting a wash job after sitting for who know how long in the back field

Even the back end was in great condition, I am a happy camper to find such a good condition car just for Garylee


Now a few photos of how she looked after her first bath, now she will look better after awhile but just getting off the field where she sat many months if not longer
one wash job and she looks better, notice the wire spokes on wheel covers, never seen them before, the spokes are removeable for cleaning, very easy to do too. 
Front seats, only tear on driver seat, need to see what can be done to fix, I hope to salvage the original seats as they are, put covers over them to keep in original condition, I just love this car.  Almost has a new smell to it when it is in the sun. I know, it is all in my head!!
Back seat, looks as if never been sat in, all in great condition
Front dash, I will keep stock, install maybe a CD player under dash but not do anything to original dash, all in excellent condition, the dash itself is not faded from the sun, no cracks in it or nothing!!

5 speed transmission, hot dam, ought to get some good mileage on that baby, all rugs in great condition, all foot pedals are in pristine condition.
I want to believe this is the original mileage, the car is in too good a shape not to be to me but what do I know.  I bought a bus I been working on for 13 years now thinking I was going to travel cross country the previous owner  said she could do it, yea, on a railroad car!!!

Well I have been working on this car all week as well as going for two days to help my sister in Augusta, Ga to recover from the horrible ice storm they had that knocked down many, many trees on her property that she needed help in removing.   I love her so I just had no choice but to go with Linda and work for two days till my back could not work anymore to help her out.  We did real good getting the wood stacked near the road for the city to come and remove this week some time for FREE.  But man what a lot of work when you are 68/69 in a few weeks. 

Well today I spent the best part of the day trying to find a place to buy new Vacuum hose for my new Toyota and I went to every auto place in Greenville, Auto zone, Napa, pet boys, every place I could think of and all they had was 5/32" which is a hair too big or 7/64" which is more than a hair to small!!  I need metric tubing, I think 3mm.  None here in Greenville, SC.  I even went to a Toyota Dealer and told him I wanted about 18 feet of it, I already used 8 feet of 5/32" I got from O'reilly's, they thought this would work but I was not satisfied with it.  It went on too freely which meant to me that it would come off too freely or leak.  So I went looking for the stuff I need.  The Toyota Dealer had it, but would only sell me 3 feet of it!!  What to hell??  He did not want to short change the mechanics supply if needed,  The new cars don't use it for gods sake, only old ones, like MINE!!  So I knew 3 ft. would not do crap for me and traveled on and went on the internet to try to find it, good grief, it was and still is difficult to find even here,  What to hell??  I gave up a while and went to work back on the Toyota.  I will look later tonight on the net.  I am mellowing out right now anyhow.  I hate when you want to do a search and you get millions of pieces of crap for only one little item you are looking for even with quotation marks around it.  Oh well. 

Anyhow I was thinking as I worked all by myself, AGAIN, about the past, how fast time is flying by and how glad I am of doing this blog really.  I am saying things not just for me but at times I hope I am speaking for some of those going through the same circumstances as we have and I am just venting in public.  Some people probably think, why tell all this stuff in public.  WHY NOT??  This is my Blog, you do not have to read it for sure, I write what I feel at the moment or my thoughts for the day, sort of like a diary you might say but something everyone can relate to if they want and delete or omit if they don't.  That is what is good about this stuff, you do not have to read it, it is not required to be read.  Some enjoy it as I get a few emails saying so and it only takes one to encourage me to continue. 

I have a good friend in the state of Washington, Dave Brawdy who encouraged me to write a Internet blog as he seen me write long post in Busnut Bulletin boards and sometimes I would get negative attitudes or negative comments from others that do not approve of me or my thoughts.  He knows this bothers me and knows sometimes I enjoy passing on information I have learned on my own and enjoy paying it forward to others so they will not make the same mistakes I have made or could have made but no matter what it is I still love doing it.   But now I can eliminate negativity, and those that do not want to read my blabbing etc. can just go on and do not have to see my name daily in a bulletin board that probably pisses them off.  That happens you know, even to me. 

Anyhow enough of that.  Today I was having mixed thought of things good and things bad of relationships I have had in the past and I like thinking of the good things that come out of them.  I made a post a few days ago to a relative that was complaining about walking 6 miles to work because of the bad weather.  I told him I used to walk more than that when I was younger to go see my first girlfriend and would of walked further if needed and think I did.  She was a real nice girl back when we went out and I am sure is still today.  I have made contact with her on the internet which I am grateful we have for a tool to make contact with those in our past like we do.  Anyhow you never really forget your first girl or boy friend you fell in love with, I have no idea why that is but you just don't.  She was always good to me but I was just too immature and things after awhile did not work out and we broke it off but it was mutual, even today we have the highest respect for each other.  Linda, my wife knows all about her, I have told her Just about everything about her and even when we go up North again I wish for us all to get together just so Linda knows everything nice I have said about my first girlfriend is true.  

I know right off what you are thinking and correct me if wrong, you think, Oh, Oh, Gary your gonna rekindle the fire and crap will happen, right??  That is not my intention, anyone that knows me and Linda knows that I am just so nuts in love with her it is not funny.  Why would I jeopardize my happiness I have had all these years with someone so loyal and loving as she has been, someone who understands all my mood swings, up or down, someone who ask for nothing for herself, someone who has been my best friend for 32 years now, someone who still makes my heart skip a beat at times when I look at her unbeknownst by her and makes that feeling inside just make me want to do a back flip if I could knowing I sleep with her.  Why would I jeopardize that with what few years I have left,  Meeting my first girlfriend with my wife is going to be wonderful as I have made Linda know just how wonderful my first girlfriend was way back then.

I went to my high school senior prom with a girl I cannot even remember her name even, but we double dated with a fellow and he was with the prettiest girl I saw and knew at Beekmantown Central School to me.  All during the prom I could not keep my eyes off her and her boyfriend suggested we just swap partners as he was attracted I believe in my date.  We did not do that as I thought he was kidding, but if swapping was the thing in those days I would of done it, she was hot.  Well as things turned out, I turned on the charm and we dated, fell in love and got married.  Man I was crazy in love, AGAIN, but this was the real deal as we got married.  

We ended up having two beautiful sons, Gary ll, and Darren.  If we ever did anything right together we sure made two beautiful boys.  Well things happened as they do and I promised myself not to ever be hurtful in why our marriage failed.  I know a lot of it had to do with my attitude, I never really got over having to get out of the Navy as I did as I loved the Navy but it is not a life for a Married person when I would be as sea a lot.  Well, maybe not to a lot of women I would say and I had that chip on my shoulder for many, many years and then I become a very jealous person and that's all it took as you can suspect.  So I know of some of my mistakes and I have tried not to repeat them with my beautiful bride Linda.  

My oldest Son Gary, and I had an argument the day before Linda and I moved with our family down to Greenville, SC in 1987,  I went to Gary's place of employment to say my last good-bye as we were all packed up and leaving that moment but I just wanted to try to patch up things with him but it did not work.  We talked a few moments and I got in the big ole U-Haul truck I was driving with all our belongings in it and started to drive out of Gary's employments drive way.  I looked in my driver mirror and saw him in my mirror wave to me as I drove off, with tears in my eyes like right now running down my face.  That was the last time I saw my son alive.  

You can't imagine, not for a moment the pain of remembering that last view of my son in that mirror as I drove off.  Well we were not in Greenville, SC 8 months and I got a call at work from Linda saying to come home ASAP.  I know something happened, What???  She would not say.   Well when she did after I got home I just went blank, fell to my knees and what happened after that I can't remember even today.  That was on February 12, his 21st. birthday was January 11th, he was 21 years old only 31 days.  Boy he was a good looking boy, just like a model, tall about 6'2'', blue eyes that could see right through you.  

I can't write much more about it now but will tell you that it was 10 years that I was grieving so bad I can't imagine how Linda stayed with me but she did and now I remember all I put her though and you think I would ever jeopardize that, not a chance in hell.  For 10 years I could not stand Christmas music, I hated Christmas, my attitude just sucked,  Sometimes for the first 2-3 years after Gary died from his automobile Accident I would be on my way to work or someplace and just have to pull over and have a hell of a cry, I was so freaking depressed.  I prayed to God to let me trade places with Little Gary but that never happened as you can see.  But anyone losing their child grieves differently and deeply, it is so hard to express and others to understand if it has not happened to them.  At times I would go to town and forget where I was going and why and forget how to get there.  I was a real mess, I got lost so many times, your whole world just seems to die with your child.  You become a zombie just walking through life barely knowing what in hell you are doing.  I had a real difficult time doing my job at GE for many months and man what a attitude I had with guys on the floor and management.  It was a wonder I did not lose my job but I think my son calmed me down when things got real bad, sometimes I can't remember the stupid things I said or did.  I pray you never go through any of this.  Now maybe you can see why I am writing this stuff down, it is like therapy for me to talk about and sadden up about as well but feel better seeing it in words to share with others.  

Now my Son Darren, That is a horse of a different color, he is so full of life, so much like his dad, (Bet his Mom loves that) and I am so proud of all his accomplishments.  He has such a beautiful family, good job and does things with his family I only wish I had to opportunity to have done with both him and little Gary when they were small.  I worked and worked and worked all the time at GE all the hours I could, What did it get me.  Better not go there Gary!!

Linda and I together have no children together, but she brought into my life 3 children from her previous marriage and I brought them into my heart and life like they were my own.  We went through a lot together, for me to be accepted as part of their family took awhile but worked out quite well.  Dominick was my right hand when we lived in Mariaville, NY, we were inseparable and even to this day he calls me Dad and he is not hard to love back.  Linda's Two daughters, Nancy and her great family live in Ga, where they all have great jobs and take lots of family trips together which I again did not do for quite some time because of trying to make a living etc.  Dominic's twin sister Lisa has two great kids that we used to see very often, and now because of SC no grandparents rights we no longer get to see, visit or talk to these grandchildren anymore again.  This is like a grieving time again we are going through, but now we are older and it hurts even more but there is millions like us in this country, and many thousands here in SC that legally this is allowed to happen.  Nobody prays harder than we do, in the meantime our grand-kids get older, so do we and we have no idea what to expect when we finally get to see them LEGALLY again when no longer can this be prevented from happening, EVER!!

Again, you are wondering, why is he airing this in public?  When you hurt, your heart is broken like ours is and you fall asleep nearly nightly with tears in your eyes till they seal shut you realize you are not alone in these feeling and to bring awareness of this cruelty to grandparents and the grand children has to be exposed and not hushed like it is.  This is ludicrous, for this to be kept quiet because the for-fathers of SC felt grand-parents caused more problems in families than good.  That was because Incest was the thing to do in the south in them days and if grandparents caused family problems trying to prevent this type of abuse from happening it broke up families etc.  What a bunch of freaking crap, what marbles in their minds they had.  Now days if it was not for grandparents in many, many instances some kids that run away etc. because of abuses such as molestation and who knows what other deviate crap by law is allowed to happen the kids would have to place to go.  We were told (by police) that no matter what, if a child runs away, they will be brought back to the parent who has the custody unless it is proven that abuses have been committed.  GOOD LUCK WITH THAT TOO!!.  Everyone turns their backs on grandparents, they believe that Grandparents are trying to get monies for support and who knows what is in their sick deviate minds.  Pisses you off to see kids in the middle all this time over a freaking legal age limit, the kids are a Carrot on a string just dangling there if this situation is in your life I feel for you and that is why I am airing our frustration.  Something just has to happen about this, Don't give me any of that (Guardian ad-leitem crap) either.  Been there and done that, That position is just job security for some relative of a politician that makes it sound like they are there to represent the kids but that is a LOT OF CRAP!!

OK, Starting to say things that I should not, I think I will call it a night, thanks for reading and remember one thing out of this if anything, tell those that you love that you do and MEAN IT!!

Garylee


  
















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